The modern age is defined by the quest ‘to become’.
Become famous, become rich, et al. There is a perennial drive to magically transform into superlatives, or as close to one as possible. If one cannot stand on certain parameters and standards, which are usually set by society, one is usually frowned upon. Besides the usual peer pressure, there is a certain ‘acceptable reception’ that this leads to: one of contempt and intense anger for unpleasant happenings, and one of immense jubilation for good ones.
The latter is what fascinates me immensely!
You may ask whether it is not natural to have such responses. Yes and no! Yes, it, of course, is natural, emotionally speaking, to react such. But no, not necessarily with that degree of investment or attachment to the outcome.
What do I mean by not having that degree of attachment to the outcome? Before answering that, let me ask: Are we defined by our credential? Are we defined by our doings and thoughts alone? What if one fine day, God forbid, we are incapacitated and unable to undertake pursuits or achieve or even experience life as we do. What if we have a limited, if not negligible, interaction with the outer world? Will we not be?
What we truly are is not defined by our activities and events around us. What we are is not defined by relativistic or absolutist ideas and orientations. What we are is more fundamental. What we are is not a subject of probability and chance with which we have acquired some identities, be it around gender, race, abilities or nationalities.
It is liberated and, more importantly, realised in the understanding that events and activities are transient. It is truly mukt, in its true state, from the vagaries of life, the occasional chaos of circumstances and the oppression that may come with identities. This fundamentally immutable nature of one’s being is a profound truth. It cannot be described or explained as much as experienced. And it is much easier said than experienced.
Thankfully due to the grace of my guru, parents and the One, and my own spiritual strength, I have been able to walk the talk in this regard, in light of some recent unpleasant experiences in Cambridge. These experiences and events, for me, are not bad or unpleasant beyond a point, but just are.
Similarly, being told of something great, be it an accomplishment or positive development, excites me and gives me joy but not intense jubilation to the point of being consumed by it. This is not as much a lack of emotional quotient as much as a natural demeanour that comes with this realisation, in what can be called a ‘positive evolution’ since around the age of 23 or 24, when I had some interesting and oft-eerie experiences.
I feel this is not something that comes with imposition or just thinking about it, but has to come from the realisation of who we truly are. Experienced and realised, not thought or told. As they say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating: only the reaction to a problem with significant gravity and severity or a positive event with quite a scale and importance can help determine whether one has truly and naturally reached this state of equanimity: स्थितप्रज्ञ (Sthitaprajna), which means ‘firm in judgement, wisdom, contentment and calm’. This is the quality and virtue that has been espoused in the ancient Indian text – the Srimad Bhagavad Gita, particularly in Chapter 2, Verse 55:
श्रीभगवानुवाच |
प्रजहाति यदा कामान्सर्वान्पार्थ मनोगतान् |
आत्मन्येवात्मना तुष्ट: स्थितप्रज्ञस्तदोच्यते ||
which means
The Supreme Lord (Sri Krishna) said: ‘O Parth, when one discards all selfish desires and cravings of the senses that torment the mind, and becomes satisfied in the realization of the self, such a person is said to be transcendentally situated’.
This ancient, profound and yet as-relevant verse underpins the Vedantic quest of destroying the clutches of ignorance and Maya in one’s life to move towards Self-realisation and thereafter to live life in a manner that is true to your truest Self. It is liberating but can be scary, to whatever degree of such realisation one may have reached, since life seems to be like a series of images in a kinetoscope, to be viewed but with a certain distance and detachment. However big the problem and however glorious the cause of joy, one looks at it with dispassion and calm.
The crux of the matter is and remains: we must strive to be, not become. Our natural self – what a Vedantin would call the Atman – is stronger and more resilient than what worldly nuances may show. It cannot be harmed or affected by impulses and passing moments beyond a point. It cannot be besmirched or glorified by taints or laurels on your person. It is not subject to fleeting material causes, albeit the impression and involvement of one with the material world makes it feel intense pain, anger, joy, surprise, fear and greed, based on what the stimuli are.
It truly is liberated and only with this understanding can one win mountains and conquer the seven seas, without fear or apprehension or self-doubt.
I am happy I have reached a point and crossed a recent test well enough to have the confidence to write this piece, with all humility and candour. I will end this piece with the ancient Dharmic aphorism, which is the case for everyone’s true Self:
अहम् ब्रह्मास्मि|
‘I am the Absolute’
(This is an essay in my series ‘A Vedantin’s Musings’)