“I finally told my parents. It was difficult at first, but they wrapped their heads around it pretty quick. Probably, it wasn’t that difficult after all, you should do it too. Take the plunge.”
These are probably a few of the most dreaded words a person can hear when they are struggling inside the closet, unable to discuss their sexuality or sexual orientation.
Several closeted individuals may not be able acknowledge their own reality, let alone have others acknowledge it. So when they meet a person who is out and open, who has embraced themselves unabashedly, things can get even more difficult for the closeted person. It’s not that they do not wish to live freely, it’s because this major factor called ‘society’ comes into play while addressing their sexual orientation. How many times do we even talk about, well, ‘a homosexual person’?
A closeted person cannot just wake up one morning and think “Oh my God I need to hit the world with this news!” They cannot think of suddenly opening the closet door and waving a “Hi” to everyone around them. It demands an appropriate time, space, and understanding built over a long period.
A Pressure-Cooker Feeling
A person who has just come out could easily make a closeted person feel pressured to do the same. The former may not be able to accept the fact that the latter may not ever be ready. Additionally, it accentuates a difficult-to-offload burden for the closeted person, because maybe their friends and family might not be as open to the idea as an out person’s are.
Pushed To The Edge
While the news of coming out may be thrilling for one, it can be terrifying of another because of various factors. They might go through all possible situations in their head, overthink things, and might also feel claustrophobic because of not being able to come out.
Easy For One, Not For All
Rather than an obligation, coming out is a matter of comfort. If you’ve grown comfortable with your sexual identity, it’s okay to come out, but it can’t be on the condition of someone else doing it. This is a place where one shouldn’t give in to societal pressure whatsoever, because what’s easy for one person, might not be easy for another.
Growing up in a homophobic society, immersed in the restrictions of definite gender roles, building one’s own identity as a queer person is difficult. Homosexuality is still ‘uncharted territory’ as far as the general Indian population is concerned. Queerness is still finding a voice. Queer people are still finding identities of their own. A person may step out of the closet, but the question is, will we as the people of this country accept the opening of those doors?
This is, as I see it, one side of the coin. The other holds a completely different world for a closeted individual, who might just be looking for that ultimate push outside to the world. And someone else coming out might benefit someone who hasn’t yet.
A Gentle Nudge To Spill The Beans
A transgender or lesbian person who has come out gives a closeted person an opportunity to observe people’s reactions to their coming out, from a safe distance. So when the closeted person does gather the courage to come out, they’ll be better prepared.
A Statement Of Confidence
Claiming one’s identity is not only encouraging but also the epitome of the confidence that resides within a person. It gives a closeted person a sense of empowerment.
Will Society Finally Accept Me?
This is a major question, and you can expect some closure when you are encouraged to share your identity with the world. You feel closure when you are accepted for who you are.
While the battle for Queer Pride continues to be fought, it’s important that we hold onto what we have.
In this month of acceptance, let’s open our arms to every closet door.