Short Skirts and Makeup Don’t Cause Rape! I’ve Made A List Of 5 Things That Do

The funny Indian mentality of “laying the blame” where its supposedly deserved has lead to a lot of major misogynistic mindsets and behaviours becoming acceptable.

When people hear about rape, usually, the first reaction as a society is “what caused it” and the blame is invariably laid at the girl’s doorstep – ranging from – her short skirts to her makeup to her being out late at night or her partying etc.

Somewhere in THAT narrative, we forget that according to statistics on rapes in India, in 95% of all cases, the rapist knew the victim. It doesn’t matter whether a woman is wearing a salwar, sari, or burqa; a woman’s clothes don’t determine whether she will be raped or not. Women defecating in the open are also extremely vulnerable.

As a Gender Justice Activist myself – I have compiled a list below of the 10 things that don’t cause rape and the 5 things that do!

The 10 NOs:

1. No, it’s not short skirts!
2. No, it’s not makeup! No, it’s not red lipsticks!
3. No, it’s not low necklines!
4. No, it’s not low waisted Jeans or any Jeans (for that matter)!
5. No, it’s not low tied Saris with showing navels! No, it’s not transparent saris!
6. No, it’s not her coming late from work or partying with work and home friends!
7. No, it’s not her giggling!
8. No, it’s not her looking at boys! And supposedly inviting attention on herself!
9. No (definitely NOT) her “asking for it” by drinking alcohol at bars!
10. No, it’s not her standing up for her rights!

Top 5 Yes’s:

1. Yes, it’s men (who rape)!
2. Yes, it’s women and men who justify rape (by giving any of the 10 reasons above)!
3. Yes, it’s men feeling threatened that their entitlement has been snatched! And that women have caused them injury – real or imagined! (Imagine men stating clearly that joblessness in India has been caused by women who have joined the workforce. Though there is absolutely no basis for this argument – it is a widely held belief!)
4. Yes, it’s men who feel that it’s their duty to show women their rightful place (making themselves judge and jury to punish ‘wayward women’). Men have been raised to “correct women and control their behaviour” – they have seen their mothers and sisters being controlled. They have seen village male elders impose sanctions only on the erring women and not the men in cases of run-ins. So the men start believing that it is a male privilege.
5. Yes, it’s the mothers and aunties who seem to have brought up men like THIS! Yes, we need to take responsibility for the kind of kids we raise!

As a person working on the ground both with young men and women in addressing ALL of these issues above, I hope that by reading this you start having a positive conversation which in itself, is the 1st step towards change!