One day, my grandmother said “Kaash hamare mata pita ne bhi hame padhaya hota” (I wish my parents had made efforts to ensure my education). I sympathised with her and all the other women of India who have been victims of patriarchy.
But then, just the other day, I heard my grandmother say “Ladkiyo ko zyada padhane se kya faayda, unhe to ek din doosre ghar jaana hai.”(What’s the point of educating girls, they will be married off to someone else one day, anyway).
I was surprised by such contradictory statements and then gave it some thought. Patriarchy has been in existence for many centuries, not only in India but worldwide. Men started certain practices for their own interest, to make women subservient to them. But, if we look at today’s society, we will find that some women too are perpetuating patriarchy to some extent.
Some women do have a significant role to play in the exploitation of other women. We can take examples like domestic violence, dowry, and other patriarchal rituals where women do often play perpetrators.
We often hear stories of a mother-in-law exploiting her daughter-in-law. I have seen many women wishing for a son or grandson. There are many women who don’t want their daughters to study and instead want to get them married.
A woman also conditions her daughter to be loyal to her husband and perform the so-called streedharma (the duties of a woman). There are women who have themselves been victims of patriarchy, but are ready to repeat the same with the next generation.
There is a concept called patriarchal bargain which validates my argument. As per this term, a woman accepts the patriarchal roles which exploit women in general, for her own personal interest. An old woman of a typical joint family asserts her authority on other women of the family through the same means. I am neither stereotyping nor blaming every woman, but only talking about the trends of the general Indian society.
I believe that patriarchy is deep-rooted in the Indian society where the patriarch is not only a man, but also a woman. Many feminists say that women themselves have to raise their voices for a dignified life. There is a need for every woman to understand the pain of another. At least women should respect each other. They must unite to fight for themselves, otherwise, it may take even longer to achieve the ‘equality’ they are aiming for.