To be honest, knowing what a woman is all about is a learning process and a difficult one at that. You cannot define a woman, just as you cannot define a man, because there is no one definition, no one size that fits all.
This women’s day, let us see if we can wrap our heads around some of the hundreds of stereotypes that commonly center around the female gender.
Well, it could be that, or it could simply be that she is cranky because she has had a tough day, or has one ahead of her, anyway. She might have been yelled at, at work, or argued with a colleague, or with her mom, or her best friend. She might be worried about something that is nagging away at the back of her mind, or quite simply, she might not be well.
Literally, there could a million reasons why she is cranky, if at all she is. Perhaps, the next time, instead of writing it all off as PMS (by the way, how many of us really know what that means?), you should sit her down, put an arm around her, and simply ask her what the deal is all about. But no, of course, it is easier to let her go out of her mind, with whatever it is that is bothering her rather than asking that one simple question! Who knows, asking that question might awaken the devil himself.
This has been much talked about, at least over the past few years. Yet, there has been so little change in people’s mindset, that the issue needs to be reiterated until it is driven home. A girl in a pair of shorts is still a girl, she is not just a vagina. She travels alone, which means she is smart enough to do that, and gets home late at times, which possibly indicates that she works late, or loves to party. And no, neither of that is an excuse to judge her. It just means she is one independent, fun-loving girl, who enjoys the occasional booze, and smoke, and doesn’t think that her gender has anything to do with what she wants from life.
To all the aunties and uncles out there, nope, she doesn’t have loose morals, and her character isn’t tarnished; she just has a set of principles that are different than yours. And as for the guys out there, intimidated yet, much? Let’s pounce on her, and tear her to pieces, shall we? How dare she encroach into ‘manly’ territory and make us, with our brittle, distorted masculinity, feel insecure?
In 2019, this does not even begin to make sense, and I’m afraid women themselves help to reinforce this stereotype, simple by repeating it! Not all housewives are going to kitty parties and gossiping!
Majority of housewives get up before sunrise, cook for the entire family, handle the kids’ tantrums, and send them to school. Then once the husband is off to work, the rest of the household chores stare you down, and you spend the day making the house spic and span, washing dishes, clothes and dropping in at the market with a long list of groceries.
You look after your in-laws, in case they are living with you, set up the table for lunch, eat yourself with as much speed as you can muster, and then, finally, might sneak in an hour for yourself. Before long though, everything that you did in the morning needs to be repeated, and of course, the husband and the kids are back, and they might or might not vent their day’s frustrations on you (because you had done nothing the entire day)!
Then dinner happens, you clean up for the day, help the kids with their homework, because your dearly beloved husband needs his ‘me time’ after a long day at work. And that my dear people, is just one day in the life of a housewife! All without a single penny in the kitty. Easy-peasy, isn’t it?
4. Women are shopaholics. They love their shoes, their clothes, their bags, their jewellery etc, etc. And, they need a rich man to achieve their shopping dreams.
Let’s face it, a lot of us do love our clothes, and a piece of jewellery once in a while doesn’t hurt. But we don’t go bonkers over them the way it is made out to be, and we definitely do not need a man to give it to us. The reality is that the majority of women in India would rather serve their kids two square meals a day, because that is all they can afford to dream of. And those who do shop for expensive stuff, well, they do it because they can afford to do it themselves, not because they need a rich guy’s credit cards to do it for them.
There is, though, a breed of women, who have interests other than shopping and beauty salons. So next time, anyone, be it a guy or girl, simply looks at a woman and asks her how many pairs of shoes she has, well, remember, shoes are not just for wearing!
5. Embittered women become feminists. Feminists are men-haters.
Firstly, women do not become disillusioned with life and then decide to turn feminists. Secondly, feminists are not men-haters. Let’s get this out of the way first. Feminism is not about hating or bashing men. It is also not about women who want to become more like men.
A woman who has a healthy sex life is not doing it because she wants to be like a man. She is doing it because she enjoys it, just as a man does. Feminism is about respecting women and men equally. It is about doing away with double standards in society’s treatment of men and women.
This little fact, I’m afraid, escapes most men and even women. A woman who says she is not a feminist, does so because she presumes that it entails hating men. It does not. It entails equal treatment, being put in the same pedestal as men, neither below, nor above. It entails a fight for our fundamental rights. Basically, feminism means freedom, it means you get to make your own choices. Period.
For those who will see this piece as the angry rant of an embittered woman, well, it is angry, but not because I’m embittered, which I am not, yet, but because it is astounding that one should even have to write this up, today in 2019! And this piece is not anti-men, it holds women just as much responsible for perpetuating gender stereotypes as men.