I still remember being 14 when I truly felt a loving feeling towards women. She was a girl in my class and the topper while I was a mediocre student still struggling to tie my school tie. I was very shy in school and had absolutely no knowledge about sex.
I first started dating when I was pursuing graduation. Every moment with her was an event and my hormones were peaking as I was in my late teens. Later, I left her because she hated my favourite IPL team. I found myself in a very tough situation because of my age and my eagerness to have sex and believe it or not, I was suffering from loneliness which more often than not results in depression.
When I grew a little older, I realised I am not alone. In fact, every teenager goes through the same situation in our culture as me. So what should someone do when they are in this age group and have this constant urge to be around people they’re attracted to? When I was going through this constant urge to be around women, the internet became my best friend because there was no one around. You cannot talk to your parents since they behave like they never had sex and your father wants to throw the TV out of the room when any intimate scene appears on it. Our teachers only care about the grades and our friend circle is just like us. So where should we go? Almost all of us in this day of age and technology go to the internet and that according to me is the greatest cause of the destruction of our youth. We watch a lot of porn and nude pictures, we masturbate and we as men start treating every woman as an opportunity to have sex. And all of this happens because of a lack of communication between teenagers and elders.
Luckily for me, I wasn’t the victim of internet and that too because of my mindset since childhood. I was made to feel every time that even looking at a girl will make me the worst human being on the planet, let alone dating her. So I would look at my ‘condition’ as a problem rather than a natural phenomenon that occurs with every human being on the planet. I began to search online about how I can get my mind off thinking about women and watching porn and got a lot of different advice.
I was overweight, so I decided to lose weight and then I became addicted to the gym. As time passed by, I met some people online and who taught me that what I feel is normal and I am not a bad human being and should not be disgusted by myself. I realise that this dilemma is very dangerous and our youth is its victim.
So what is the problem? Why is talking about sex to young teenagers still a taboo in our society? Why are our parents too reluctant to talk to us about sex? The problem lies in the education system of our country which is obsessed with grades and percentage. Our parents were left on their own to learn about sex and in this age of technology, it is a very dangerous thing to do. We need to talk about sex more than before because women are not even safe in their homes and STD’s are at an all-time high. Our parents say that the reason they don’t talk about sex is that our religion and culture does not allow this. Well coming from a country of Kamasutra and being born in a Muslim family and after years of learning about Islam, I can say that this is nothing but a lie. My religion gives information about sex very deeply and leaves no room for error. The problem, as I said, lies in the education system which has absolutely no vision.
We as young people need to understand is that we also make this topic too vulgar and violent which only increases the gap in mentality. We need to talk about it very respectfully as it is a very sensitive matter for our parents. Take it from a man who was made to feel filthy when he wanted to talk about sex. Conversation is the only way we can improve our situation and can talk more openly about sex and can express our sexuality without being made to feel guilty.