“Ye toh apne hi mulk ki bacchi hai” (Oh, this girl is from my homeland!)
This is what a Pakistani server said to me in Washington DC, a few years ago when I wandered into a small desi restaurant, terribly homesick, hungry and alone. He smiled at me and brought me my food while I told him about Delhi. I don’t remember much from that day, except, his kind smile and that for the first time in weeks, I felt home.
I grew up in a military family, went to military schools, and even then, I wasn’t raised to hate Pakistan. When the Kargil War happened, I was told, “They are soldiers and so are we. We all protect the land that is ours.” So I never hated Pakistan. I hated the idea that two bloodthirsty governments sent their men to war, to die.
When I see my country, the national media calling for a war with Pakistan, I understand that they do not know the cost of war. The cost of war isn’t measured in victory or loss, it’s measured in mounting bodies, grieving parents, orphans and widows.
I do not see the revenge-seeking, warmongering people, sending their fathers and mothers to the border. I do not see them waiting for them to come back. I do not see them asking the widows of Uri, if they are okay now, if they have everything they need. I do see them forgetting the widows of Pulwama, just as conveniently as they forgot the widows and orphans of Uri.
My heart breaks to think of what will become of the families of the CRPF martyrs. My heart breaks when I realise that these CRPF martyrs spent their lives defending the nation, regardless of our religion and statehood, and the country repaid their sacrifice by threatening Kashmiri women in Dehradun, by beating up Kashmiri craftsmen in other parts of the country.
Take a moment to grieve the CRPF men killed in Pulwama, then another moment to grieve the blood spilled in the Kashmir valley- of the Kashmiri Pandits who had to leave their homes behind, of the Kashmiri Muslims who now live in one of the militarised regions in the world, and take another moment to grieve the lives of the security forces who have lost men after men in a war that any government could have resolved if they wanted to. Take a moment to realise that if BJP or Congress wanted, the issue of Kashmir would have been resolved long ago. Take a moment to realise that Uri and Pulwama may have never happened.
Take a moment to understand that BJP is doing nothing to protect the armed forces now than they did before, that Congress’ carefully worded posturing is as hollow as it sounds. Take a moment to realise that when you dissed the #AntiHate Campaign by Pakistani women condemning the Pulwama attack, hate won. Take a moment to understand that when you called all Kashmiris and Pakistani’s terrorists, terrorism actually won.
Just because Vicky Kaushal asked you “How’s the Josh?”, You reply “High sir!” and send more men to their deaths. Do this nation a favour and channel that josh (enthusiasm) toward the government, ask them to bring Pakistan to the table and talk Kashmir, ask them to finally do the right thing for the Kashmiri Pandits and Kashmiri Muslims. But if you want war, if you want this act of terrorism to be countered with more deaths, then have the gumption to fight yourself. It’s easy to send nameless, faceless men to fight your war but they are not nameless, faceless men to me. They are my father, my brother, my uncle, my best friends.
I grieve today for the CRPF martyrs, for the families they left behind, for the men in uniform who will be sent to war by a bloodthirsty government, and most of all, I grieve for a nation that has lost its conscience.
Please understand that war has never been the answer. Death cannot and should not be avenged by more death. Drown out the loud jingoism of the government, of the media, and you will hear the wails of the CRPF widows and orphans.
Let that please shatter your heart, like it did mine.