How Men Induced the Patriarchy in India?

A few days back, someone asked me “ What do you think is wrong with India?”

“The agelong induced Patriarchy and dowry system.”– I replied.

For years after I learned the word dowry I used to believe that it is something which the boy’s side gives to the girl. Yeah, I know sounds so naive of me. Because am not sure but in our Marwari’s I think there are instances where the boys give the dowry. Anyways because if there is anything logical even if as much as a grain of sand about the dowry, it should be the boys who are supposed to give it. You may ask why? Because after all, it is the girl’s side and her parents who invested so much love, time and money in their daughter’s education, well-being, cultural development. It is them who are giving their daughter to the boy and his family to be the pride of their home and the entire upcoming generation.

But I realized it is quite the opposite. Girl’s parents are the one who gives the dowry. Why? Apparently, because the society believes that the boy is helping the girl get a purpose in life and attend salvation in the process serving the purpose. The purposes are — Doing only the household chores, Never getting out of the house. Getting up early morning only to feed her husband and bear HIS child, satiate her husband’s sexual thirst and go to sleep so she can do it all again the next morning.

How convenient it was for the men in India to demoralize, depower, demean, demotivate, disconnect, detach differentiate Indian women from the society so they feel like they are a pity being who constantly needs external support. And not only this but the male dominant society somehow managed to make the girl’s parents feel shame, pressure, and burden about the existence of their daughter and also making her birth feel so ill-omen that many resorts to killing their daughter even before she is born.

And then like any smart businessmen who know that if you don’t find a problem to solve to make a business around it then the best way to build a successful business is to first create a problem, make people realize the need and then suck out of them. In the same way, the Indian patriarchic society first killed the self-esteem of women and now they act as if they are doing a favour on them by embracing them as their wives or a daughter-in-law and in return for their gratefulness they demand a huge chunk of money from the girl’s parents.

How great of a master-plan. Women who are suffering self-pity will never raise a voice against any wrong you do because you embraced her and her parents will always be grateful to you even after paying you a huge chunk of their life’s saving and lifeline(read daughter) for you took off their pressure and burden.

If this has to be the case where relations are built on money, then why not look at it from a different perspective and see if that is acceptable by the majority.

Instead of treating women so low that they need to give money to get married and are treated as if they are owned by the men, how about if we look at it as — The women paid a hefty amount for the groom and she now owns him and may treat him as per her wish.

Will that be acceptable to you? No, Right Won’t that be shameful? Then why shame women and objective them as something you can just hold rights on.

I don’t know if this was intentionally woven into Indian society or any country suffering from patriarchy in a negative sense for that matter or not but this feels wrong and should be changed.

That is just my point of view about this situation. No offence to anyone.

Women deserve the same respect and maybe some more for she is the only who can simultaneously take care of her family, herself, her home and her profession.

And Yes, I love my India not just because it is my country but because we value relationships more than anyone in the world. We value values and people.

They don’t say for nothing

“ If you are ever lost in life, visit India”

Let us work for a day when patriarchy will be no more. A day when you and I can have the following conversation.

Thank you. Peace. More Power to you!