Skimpy Soul and her fraternity are two thousand years old. They have a space shuttle, few tin suits and cosmic blade that kills for food and protection. These three things of need were all they required for years and they had never dared to experiment. Lack of scientific exploration made Skimpy Soul restless. She decided to become human, ‘There has been enough of watching over terrestrials who are bombarding for religion, shooting for vengeance, committing suicides for their better known reasons. We need to give human-life a try,” Skimpy Soul uttered her latest space-set ambition. Involving two different worlds, curiosity and knowledge, have always played important roles as dressers for discovery. She idolized humans who had evolved big time from their apian origins to now in their Chanel-Burberry clothes and Choo-Madden shoes putting across their most irrelevant theories in most sophisticated manners possible. Little did she know of humans and their never-changing phenomenon. Skimpy Soul was let go and given a year on earth. She began to map countries where she could live. Skimpian theory of natural selection ranged from the choice of countries, then states, then the cities was exhausting. Even as alien like humans, the most prosperous America seemed tempting. Baffled with so many options from choosing race to sandwich sauces, she decided for a place with lesser options – refined her searched to China and India based on their welcoming prospects. China lost to India as it had produced more number of beauty queens and just for the true love of Miss Worlds and Miss Universes, her choice of country was booked. Now for work – cricket, politics and entertainment seemed lucrative. But looking at the time and energy investment with the above two, she opted for an adrenaline-rushing-job of news reporting. In her human-journey, Skimpy Soul documented her entire year’s truce with stories she covered in her journal. The excerpts followed a fashion of events from the real world which could put any unreal piece of fiction to shame.
Day 1-59: Curious case of children falling in pits
In 2006, a child named Prince, in Kurukshetra, Haryana, had fallen in 60-feet-hole of a tube well covered with sack. Army engineers, disaster experts from ONGC, and the Indian Air force came together for his rescue. Live feeds of dropping food, constant praying, and ministers in solidarity later, it was still a 48-hour-long operation. By 2014, there was another child, Girija, a four-year-old in Andhra Pradesh, who had fallen into an abandoned bore-well shaft. Very recently, in 2017, Abdul, a nine-year-old in North Delhi died of drowning in a pit full of rainwater. A government report shows that the number of accidental deaths of children up to 14 years due to falling in pits and manholes has gone up from 175 in 2010, to 192 in 2011, and further to 194 in 2012. The largest number of these kind of child causalities was in Madhya Pradesh (67 children killed in 2012), followed by Maharashtra (39), Uttar Pradesh (19), Gujarat (18), and Tamil Nadu (13). Skimpy Soul found this so fascinating that she managed to report about an actual research that was published on Smart Child Rescue System in 2016 that talks of a new design which has a sensor at top of bore-well hole which helps to sense the child if he fell inside. This system also alerts by giving siren and messages to rescue team and concern officials with location. But there is still no recluse from callousness of public interventions. This news continued for few months till her Big Banter-the editor decided to telecast other stories.
Day 60-99: Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either wild beast or god
Anuradha and Shonali Bahl two sisters from Noida were staying in isolation for years since 2007. They were rescued in 2011, found starving and emaciated with no source of income, electricity or means of communication. Partha De had been living with the dead body of her elder sister and carcasses of two pet dogs in Kolkata. He was suffering from depressive psychosis and offered pizzas, pastries to the skeletons half-covered in blankets. However the speculations and theories woven around this ‘Skeleton man’ was put to rest with his suicide. Another dead body of a 63 year old women living alone was found in a flat in Mumbai. Her NRI son, maid and driver left job after her husband passed away in 2013; since then her whereabouts were not known until August 2017. What Skimpy soul had understood that this country known to be a spiritual abode for years is now in a finding Nemo journey- lost and needing redirection. It has been updated with a study from National Institute of Mental Health & Neurosciences (Nimhans) that revealed a shocking rise in prevalence of mental illness in India. At least 13.7 per cent of India’s general population has been projected to be suffering from a variety of mental illnesses; and 10.6 per cent of this requires immediate intervention. Big Banter statistically was floored with figures; nearly 150 million Indians that are in a need of active medical intervention, according to the study submitted by Nimhans to the Union ministry of health and family welfare in 2014. 
Day 100- 119: If the farmer is poor so is the whole country
World Bank data suggest that 60.3% of India’s land area is agricultural land and data suggests that more than half of India’s population live on and off agriculture. The center informed Supreme court that despite all efforts to improve income and social security of farmers; over 12000 suicides were reported every year since 2013. Economist professor K. Nagaraj on farm suicide trends said, ‘The numbers leave little room for comfort and none at all for self congratulation.’ Journalist P. Sainath in his article stated that reading a ‘trend’ into a single year’s dip or rise is misleading and for record farmer suicides has been rising within a declining population. In 2007, a newspaper article quoted Dr. Nagaraj’s study that suggested 1.5 lakh peasants ended their lives in between 1997 and 2005. 27 months later, the very same paper had to run a headline saying that the numbers had climbed up to nearly 2 lakhs. Skimpy soul learned by now that the system requires farmers to decisively die for then only loan waivers can passed by the government. Skimpy Soul asked Big Banter to exclusively report on the commitment made by current ruling government to double it’s farmers income by 2022 but the tricky part is that there are no estimates the National Sample Survey Organization 2014 found average monthly income of an agricultural household to be Rs. 6,426 in 2012.
Day 120-199: All the world’s a stage and the stage is world of entertainment
You can take country out of an Indian but not Bollywood out of an Indian. Finding actors making their debut in politics has become episodic that one can quantify the power of stars on ruling Indians. There was or is a kind of fashion in engaging wilted stars as promising politicians unaware of their constituency of work ranging right from legendary Amitabh Bacchan and his wife, Shatrughan Sinha and wife, Kiron Kher, Rekha, and many others like Hema Malini taking the reins of their Basanti ride straight into the parliament. From down south Skimpy Soul professed how Rajnikant’s super cigarette-spectacle flicking skills could be benefitting with going through the piled up judicial files with the government. No wonder news of him entering politics could be a tribute to Late Jayalalitha who herself was a yesteryear’s diva. Try a hard hitting slap or shed a tear, there are is one Bolly-quote for every Indian deed. Touch any Indian, eye-winking Rahul Gandhi would come as bollyfrenzy involuntary response. Sanitation issues makes a movie, female rights ban a movie, cancer prevention show a anti-smoking ad, terrorism on rise oustracize the actors from neighboring conflicting country, water pollution shoot a whole day cleaning drive on river bank, instill patriotism- make them stand in dark-movie-halls for national anthem, promote veganism in page three and take eggs out of the meals of malnourished children somewhere in the middle of the country. From covering Bollywood marriages to their baby bashes, their growing up till they father their actors genes; news is all set for inter-generational coverage. Skimpy soul wrote a piece for Big Banter’s daily that showed how Indian politicians were transgressing as wonderful actors, making speeches, winning votes, generating a houseful for each regime that rules.
Day 200-259: Scam time- the bigger and better self repeating model in every decade
Nirav Modi, Chanda Kochar, Vijay Mallya, Lalu Yadav they are just recent names that are giving newspapers a hard time with the timely updating and following up with their run-away or resignation details. Tired as Indians may become of hearing such scams but the sheer determination with which famous people come up in surprisingly new ways of scamming is unthinkable. Skimpy Soul by the time she was covering one scam, another was creating headlines. So this was her shortest endeavor.
Day 260-264: All female unnatural deaths tell a tale- Rape, dowry, murders and suicides
Model deaths, death due to dowry and rapes remain with people for a while, are debated, condemned and then repeated again. This cyclic fashion of being just in news prioritized as per public interests continues. Kathua rape must be recent outrage but there are still several others like Nirbhaya who remain unreported. Rich and famous cases such that Jia Khan and Sunanda Pushkar’s suicide probe finds decent share of coverage but justice is delayed irrespectively. Famous or not deaths of women get nation’s rage and concern but the protection, trust and justice – things like these best work as terminologies. Skimpy soul figured out she was safer as a women in her shuttle than on earth in India. Her article covered men who committed rape, demanded dowry and abetted suicides giving them their fair share of recognition.
Day 265-299: Political and social media jet-setters: the new age Occupationistas
Kanhaiya Kumar introduced sedition, Arvind Kejriwal revamped Gandhi topi and modern-age-fastings. They had their points and were given their share of attention. Every now and then India is in need of vocal messiahs who outshine the gloom of democracy. They have all the attention of the ruling government and scrutiny becomes their daily chores. Then there is a population following Dhinchak Pooja for being unapologetic singer on a different note. Whatsapp application has taken over our favorite verbal Namaste routine, people changing profile pictures with mood swings, statuses that can even track your milkman’s weekend outing. Then there was Sanjeev Shrivastav who got famous as dancing Govinda uncle for shaking his legs on a wedding. Skimpy soul did a small survey on why Indians love the concept of God, Heroes and trendsetters as someone who is to come for salvation. For some it works as Lord Shiva disciple, others as Amitabh fan and other-halves prefer Modi Bhakti. Ultimately all they need is make them believe in the non-existing personas, bring forth superman delights be it Swatch Bharat or Bullet train and half the success in the project Occupationistas is ensured.
Day: 300-360: The renaming trivia- What’s in a name isn’t India or Hindustan all the same.
Almost a dozen of states have been renamed, half a dozen divided and a few more struggling for further independency. Bangalore became Bengaluru, Calcutta became Kolkata, Orissa became Odisha, Madras became Chennai, Bombay became Mumbai recently Allahabad converted to Prayagaraj. So the phonetics or politics whatever might be the cause for changes, the historical richness and essence of Calcutta or Allahabad remain unchangeable forever. Skimpy Soul upon a time became Simply Sores and Big Banter turned Baanke Bheem as an Indian way of second-naming.