There’s nothing formal in her thank you message. The sender is Karuna* a teenage girl. She says her life is less bumpy now, and she’s moved on from a tough phase. Knowing this makes me smile.
Happy and content, I realise how much I love and respect my profession. My job as a professional counsellor takes me to the root of problems – personal or societal – faced by young girls, today.
I vividly remember how a very stressed Karuna reached out on the Ask SHEROES counselling chat helpline, some time back.
An over-the-counter (OTC) abortion pill given by a non-medical professional in some shady clinic, was the beginning of a horrific episode in her life. She was already under immense pressure because she was hiding all her emotions, and the physical pain from her family after undergoing a terminated pregnancy.
At the time, she wasn’t even sure if the pregnancy was successfully terminated. On approaching the clinic again, they advised her to visit a gynaecologist, also threatening her not to disclose about those OTC pills or she would be charged with illegal abortion.
Many, many conversations later and with the proper guidance on pregnancy and sexual health, she emerged stronger and was ready to take charge of her future.
* Name changed to protect identity
Listening is a privilege
In my seven years as a counsellor, I’ve come to understand certain things for sure. We need more transparency and readiness to discuss real issues openly. Preachy advice rarely help. When women reach us through the helpline, we have conversations. Sometimes, we just listen.
I like it when women and girls come out of their cocoon, sharing their pain, stress and problems. They reach out to seek all kinds of support – career and relationship advice, information on legal rights, parenting tips, how to navigate workplace harassment, family issues, sexual health concerns, and dealing with abuse and emotional trauma.
While interacting I realise how much a support system works in solving problems that crisscross lives. This non-judgmental support system, accessible via their smartphones, has become their confiding space.
Maybe it’s because we’re always upbeat with the spirit to help. Maybe we fulfil the need to be by their side, lending our ears and support.
Bridging the gap
When I chat, I find how aspiring young girls are. Whether from small town or cities, we all have aspirations – to achieve something or be someone. What happens when those aspirations become challenges? Making the right choices becomes difficult.
This happens when we’re at crossroads of making career and relationship choices, reason being, lack of guidance and support system-related to lack of educational resources, scholarships and career choices. This is one area I wish to invest in because women are meant to have successful careers.
Additionally, I’ve noticed how much a girl craves to have her own identity, not a borrowed one.
Sathiya, a single mom from Polur, a village in Tamil Nadu embodies this spirit. With a basic smartphone, she reached out on the Ask SHEROES helpline to discuss how she, a beautician who delivered services door to door in her village, could start a parlour in her village.
After many conversations, she is today the proud owner of “Ladies Special”, her own beauty parlour, living life on her terms.
No shame in asking for support
I urge every young girl reading this to never, never give up on dreaming and planning to fulfil those dreams. Bottlenecks are testers, which you can look back at with a smile on the face and a twinkle in your eyes!
Most important – share, share as much as you need with someone you trust around you because it does wonders be it for brainstorming ideas or reaching out for help in an emergency.
This thought reminds me of a quote – “A healer is not someone that you go to for healing. A healer is someone who triggers within you, your own ability to heal yourself.”
About Shakun Vijay:
I’m a counselling professional heading the Ask SHEROES helpline, which can be accessed via the SHEROES app. I have also worked with counselling lines like LoveDoctor, in prominent schools and professional practices in fields related to child behaviour, relationship, sexual health, emotional and mental health, family counselling and others. Also, an avid reader, travel enthusiast, storyteller at heart and an all-time foodie!
