As I am writing this letter to my sweet brother Rachit, I am confused, happy and ashamed. I feel we teach a girl to be a good daughter-in-law right from her childhood.
Every moment, every day and in every corner of the house, a girl has to go through the mock drill of her post-marriage life.
Her mother doesn’t leave a stone unturned in training her to become an obedient wife and daughter-in-law. A girl is trained to become a nicer daughter, sister, daughter-in-law and wife. But what about herself? She forgets her own life trying to become someone else.
I am not blaming mothers or their sense of responsibilities. But my letter is a shout out to all the mothers who have never encouraged their sons to do the household chores. If you ever thought that doing the household chores may destroy his manhood gradually, keep reading this. You search for a girl so that he can show his worthiness by ordering her. Sorry, but you have no right to ask for a ‘diamond’ girl if your son isn’t even ‘bronze’.
I sympathise with all those mothers who train their daughters to become a slave but train the sons to become useless. I also hate them.
My sweet brother, I am writing this letter today because I knew that our mom would never teach you all this. So, I took the initiative of telling you everything.
Dear Brother,
You don’t know how to cook food, wash clothes or fold them later. You were never scolded for all this; otherwise, you might have learnt it all. If you were a girl with all these inabilities, you would never get married. But congratulations, you are a male – a son!
It is not compulsory for you to be accomplished with all the good qualities. For you, household chores aren’t compulsory. But if it was made compulsory for you and all the boys, it could have been a blessing for me and all the girls.
Leave it. Whatever mom had to teach you, she taught! However she had to develop you, she developed! Now listen to me.
Your sister has to wake up early every day, even if she isn’t feeling well or if she is still feeling sleepy, because my husband, sleeping beside me, can’t make tea for himself. Come on, he is a son! I have to fulfil his requirement of morning tea.
I have to prepare the bed every day, even when we both sleep on it. Although making the bed good isn’t rocket science, somehow only girls are eligible to do this.
No matter how hungry I am, I have to feed my husband first because he can’t feed himself. He loves to eat just prepared food but doesn’t know how to cook it. His clothes might be scattered everywhere, but only I am responsible for folding the clothes because I am the housemaid.
You didn’t sleep for nights during my marriage while helping dad in all the rituals and taking care of the things. It all went in vain. Your sister soon turned into a housemaid from a daughter-in-law. I can sense how much annoyed you must be reading all that happened to me. But what next?
You will also marry a girl soon. Although you will show your love to her, that love will only be a salary in return for making her a housemaid. She will also begin her second shift as soon as she comes from office. Your mother will also expect the new girl should be able to correct in a few days something she couldn’t correct in 20 years – forgetting her home, her parents and their love and care.
Yeah! Don’t forget to sit on the sofa and watch TV carelessly amidst all this, but remember that she will also be somebody’s sister!
Your elder sister,
Nimita