I have been loving my internship with Youth Ki Awaaz.
Under the fantastic mentorship of Shikha Sharma, the Executive Editor, I did a number of assignments, one of which was this piece about Sabyasachi’s remark on shaming women for not choosing to wear saree.
I wrote it some time ago, but since I was posting it only now, I decided to make the headline generic to show the larger picture; the ugly problem of men shaming women for choosing what they wear and for even writing an article about it.
Here is the article.
My usual response to comments on my shared material is plain silence. It was fun to see that just within five hours of posting, there was already a pile of comments there. And of course, there was trolling from people who are the root cause of this problem.
I wanted to share them with you all and highlight the problem of the masses- this mindset.
So, you’re ready to have some fun troll on troll action? Let’s go!
Here is the first one.
Akhilesh Rathi probably did not even bother to click on the article and read it because the article clearly mentions that the entire society participates in this ‘shaming women’ phenomenon with the context being from Sabyasachi’s remark of course. And making a mockery of someone’s fashion choice is different from equating it with being ‘easy’ or characterless. Neither is right, but there is a difference. You won’t understand, too evolved for you.
I have absolutely no idea what this person is trying to say, what has height go to do with anything, it was never mentioned anywhere. But his thought process that a woman is judged by cooking skills and their wardrobe choices is why Indian women are still not taken seriously by the society. Also, his display photo has a child in the middle and a woman on the side, which is frankly shocking and worrying at the same time. God have mercy on this kid, growing up under patriarchal values that confine a woman’s worth to only kitchen and laundry.
This dude looks like he’s got a lot of time on his hands cause I saw his comments on other women’s responses who were supportive of the article, trolling everyone.
First of all, men who wear Indian or Western wear, their choice of dressing is never, ever equated to having a bad character. Maybe people call him ‘ganwar’ due to his mentality and off-putting personality and poor kid; he doesn’t even know they aren’t making fun of his fashion choices.
And secondly, apart from ‘behen ji’ and ‘item’, there are literally a million words that can be used to address women. But since it does not seem like this guy was ever told there’s a thing called ‘dictionary’, his ignorance can be overlooked. Yet another child left behind by the Indian education system.
This is a three level disaster.
1- Beautifulness? Someone call the Oxford Dictionary, we found a new word. Also, Dr Shashi Tharoor might have a heart attack reading this.
2- Every men?If you’re going to troll people, at least use a language/grammar app or something, show some effort man, do it right. Your only job in the entire world is to bully people, and you aren’t even good at that.
3- The very idea that this dude thinks that he is viewing a woman’s body and dress through the lens of a man is disturbing and reflective of why I wrote the article in the first place. Women don’t choose to wear a saree or skirt depending on what men would like. Women can have their own preferences, and they don’t always need to confine to your narrow ideals of beauty. This article was not about what men like.
Another bone-head who did not bother to read the article and jumped to the conclusion.
The article says nothing about stripping and going out naked on the streets. But since you did bring it up, let me educate you.
Stripping in public can be for three reasons – either the person is not in control of their mental faculties, or at a public beach where nudity is allowed or a drunk causing nuisance (man or woman).
In case 1 where the person might need mental health assistance, your duty is to call a hospital and inform concerned authorities.
In case 2, you can just leave if it is a licensed place where nudity is allowed. Why is it your business at all? Were you sneaking from behind a plant?
In case 3, if it is a drunk person causing nuisance, you can call the police and complain about the person for public indecency.
IN NEITHER OF THE CASES YOU ARE ALLOWED TO RAPE, HUMILIATE OR JUDGE PEOPLE. AND YES, THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE OF A MODERN SOCIETY DO.
———————————–BEHOLD, I saved the best one for last—————————————————-
(FACEPALM)
This fellow never got around to learn the definition of Feminism; I can’t expect him to understand the concept of ‘women-shaming’ and ‘patriarchy’; those are big words for a guy like him.
Beggar feminists??? I’m just lost for words why ‘beggar’ was used but OK, can’t expect common sense from you either.
The PS. part is the best – before making snide comments trolling someone, the best advice I can give you is to bother to click on the article and read it first. I mean, that’s the very least you can do.
As mentioned above, the article clearly mentions how it is both men and woman (society includes both I guess) living in the patriarchal mindset that shame women for choosing either a saree or a skirt.
And yes, my feminist brain is busy writing thought pieces and going to women’s marches to stand up for the rights of the future daughters of India and the world while your non-feminist petty brain is busy trolling women for demanding equal rights.
You should thank your Lords that feminists are demanding equal rights, not REVENGE!
Hence we need FEMINISM and thanks Youth Ki Awaaz for being a platform for radical voices.
The only reason why I wrote this post with troll comments is that we need to investigate and decipher these messages and let the world know where the problem lies. I could have written responses there or simply moved on like I do 99% of the time. But responding to them on social media is a complete waste of time. This deeply entrenched patriarchal belief would take a lot more than an FB reply to change and maybe never change at all.
But I also did not want to ignore it with silence because I want the larger audiences to learn how men react to this notion of women choosing what they want to wear. I want to highlight this problem that women face and are too tired to even object to now.
Nevertheless, those of you who know what feminism is and why women’s bodies and dresses are not men’s war zones where only their orders are upheld, please fill social media spaces with positivity.
Not just on my post but any article you read, write positive things, let the power of the few open minded be heard. Let your broad thinking overpower the conservative minded people’s rhetoric.
This is how we make the world a better place.