“Third standard girl molested by her classmate” “Girl gangraped by four in Delhi” “Police clueless on the rape case of a 60-year old women, investigation in progress.”
I was flipping through the newspaper this evening and these were the major headlines sprawled in bold letters all over the pages. Some political jibes, accidents and murders had also managed to squeeze their way between them.
While I was wondering about the current situation of the country, my cell phone buzzed. It was a message from my friend who had thrown a late-evening party. If I were to go, I would be returning late.
After much coaxing, my mother allowed me to go, with lots of instructions and guidelines.
“Take care of yourself. Don’t take the road, which is deserted. Don’t take a shared cab. See that your friends accompany you. Only share your cab with your female friends, no men, it’s very dangerous.” This is what my mother told me while I was getting ready for the party.
Just as I was about to leave the house, my cell phone buzzed again. It was a notification from a news app, about actress Kirron Kher’s comment on a recent gangrape incident in Chandigarh: “Victim should not have boarded autorickshaw when three men were already inside.”
Before I could ponder any further, I received a shrill reminder from my friend via a phone call. “Come fast,” he said. I hurried down to get into the taxi, and was intimidated looking at the driver. (I am not the one who judges someone by looks, but seeing him in the dark scared me. He had dark penetrating eyes with a thick beard and long wavy hair.)
A lot of things have changed after the Delhi gangrape incident – one of them being many women unable to feel safe anywhere in the world. Though the GPS on my phone showed the same location as that of the driver’s, even small diversions of a metre sent a chill down my spine. The question in my head was, “Am I going to be the next victim?”
And then, Kirron Kher’s comment flashed up on my phone screen again ( I had not yet closed the app notification): “Victim should not have boarded autorickshaw when three men were already inside.” I do not know why, but I really felt that if she was really wrong, can we judge her as a person by this?
The world has suddenly started emphasizing a lot on feminisms, about girls rights ,their privilege and the things that should be expected from men in relation to women. But the reality is, debating, sitting in air conditioning rooms, giving a speech in packed auditorium, Screaming in rallies and screening series of short films to explain the point, in no way will change the dynamics of the country, the mentality of such men and the lust of such ill minded criminals.
When a 3 year old girl is raped in her own house, how can we girls who think, are capable of protecting ourselves, relax in the name of feminism that it’s our right to roam in odd hours alone, without arms, and travel by whatever means we like ?? Okay I know it’s quite shocking to hear such a thing from a girl, that too who is educated and knows that it is our fundamental right to live, roam and do as per our wish. But there is no sensibility to think that a deer would not be pounced upon by the lion because the jungle belongs to the deer as much as it does to the lion. The lion will kill the deer and females have to face the prying eyes of the other sex, come what may. I don’t think modernisation or development has anything to do with it, and its better if we not risks our honour and life under the illusion of feminism.
I do not mean at all that there is a guarantee that, that 22 year old girl would have not been molested, if she had taken an auto which was empty, but at least the chances of her being raped could have been reduced because that auto driver would have thought twice before doing the act alone. I am not at all shameful or scared to say this that may be that 23 year psychologist student, who was brutally raped in Delhi years ago would have been alive today, had she not taken the bus that had those heinous merciless criminal that chilly winter night. These are things we all agree too , but are afraid and egoistic to accept.
Neither do I mean in any sense that we girls or women should restrict ourselves from living as we want, or now start living according to the society or in fear of uncertainties, but it is never wrong to protect ourselves from the dire possibilities when we can .
There have been some stupid and illogical statement after a rape incident from the people of the society and majorly politicians, but some are not as wrong as we term it.
God forbid, if I am stuck in such a public transport and luckily return home safe, my mother would scold me saying the same, that I should have seen before boarding the rickshaw that there are already three men in it.
The comment was not wrong if we think sensibly, this is what we actually hear all around her from our elders, despite the feminism outcry. This comment was criticised because it came from a public figure.
This article is not about the justification of Kirron Kher’s comment, I am no body to say if its right or wrong, but its my message, that we may feel that it is easy for her to say this, denying any sympathy or justice to the victim, which may be not so .It should be our responsibility to take notice of the mentality of such criminals, the lust hovering around us and the danger creeping, while we roam alone outside.
Feminism, definitely means knowing and identifying our own rights, but it would be gross negligence on our part, if we act dumb in sensing the dangers around us, in the pride of being a feminist and not accepting the inherent temperament of our own self and others.
Its high time, we stop politicising everything that comes around..