Since our childhood, we, as women, are taught that our bodies do not belong to us. We are prepared to dress for others, take care of our bodies for others, and look good for others. This further extends into sexual health for unmarried women because of the high social stigma attached to female sexuality and pre-marital sex. These barriers inhibit women from accessing services, thus, putting themselves at risk. Fearing judgement from gynaecologists and other service providers, single women avoid going to them and find alternate sources of information that are often unsafe.
“This happened a year back. My friend was seeing this guy and it got physical quite soon. They would have sex every weekend at the guy’s place because he lived alone. One day she got pregnant and was super nervous. She called me up and we decided to go to a very reputed gynaecologist in Gurgaon, far from the place where she lived so as to avoid bumping into anyone she knew. When we told the doctor that she wanted to get an abortion, he was totally taken aback. He asked us our age proof so we gave him our IDs. He then refused to treat her even though she was an adult (19 in fact) by made up a stupid excuse saying that he already has a lot of appointments and gave us another doctor’s number. It wasn’t true because we asked his assistant before hand and she had said that he was free.”
The stigma with regards to abortions for unmarried women is so high that there are advances being made to amend the vague Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act specifically to protect unmarried women.
These are the stories that women from all over India have sent us. The commonalities between them are the fear, sense of isolation and the stigma unmarried women face. To tackle this, and create a strong narrative around it, Haiyya has launched Health Over Stigma, a campaign to bring together thousands of young, unmarried women from diverse backgrounds who have been shamed at one point or another and want to drive the change. We, and our team of SRHR Defenders (Campaign leaders) have been holding our Week of Action in New Delhi to create urgency and bring visibility around the issue. Our actions have included a picnic in Delhi’s Lodhi Gardens, “The Vagina Dialogues” that aim at starting a dialogue on Sexual Health and a crowd sourced list of experiences (you can read the other stories there).
In order for unmarried women to feel empowered and to normalize the access to sexual health, we are creating safe and non-judgemental spaces. This weekend (Saturday 25th February & Sunday 26th February) at New Rajendra Place two gynaecologists – Dr. Mala Srivastava of Gangaram Hospital and Dr. Ankita Srivastava provided free consultation to unmarried women and a range of other services such as cervical cancer screenings and HPV vaccines. The session was open to all unmarried women who wanted to gain more information, ask questions to an unbiased doctor or join our campaign. If you are interested in gaining more information please contact Healthoverstigma@gmail.com