By Pranavy Yadav:
At the end of class X, all my friends were discussing which stream they were taking. Most were opting for science. Obviously, good grades equalled ‘good’ stream, which was science for most of the people. I, on the other hand, was confused out of my mind. I was bad at Maths and Physics but somehow maintained my grades. But I knew my passion. And I admit it here, I was ashamed of it. I loved literature. I loved reading and writing more than math.
But I was afraid. Afraid to disappoint my parents. Being the only daughter, I felt responsible. Many relatives frowned upon the fact that my parents never ‘tried’ for a son after me. I was scared about proving them right, that girls aren’t worth it. I went to my dad. He knew my passion and was supportive. He also suggested that you can have a career in English after taking science. This way I will have more options.
So, two things were clear, there was no need for being an “engineer”, but no way was my mother going to allow me to study humanities ever. She didn’t approve of me reading novels. She said that “they would guide you away from your goal”. But I never realised this ‘goal’.
So I lied. To myself and to the world. That I could do this. But the brutal truth was that I never understood a single thing. The whole year passed in the blink of an eye. My best friend, who was the topper, tried to help. I never passed a single test. Failed the mid-terms. Badly. Promised to try harder. And failed in the finals. Then came the retests. A bunch of students had failed. And almost no one passed in the retests. But all of them were on the edge, I was down in the dumps.
All the teachers were shocked but not shocked at the same time. They knew that where I belonged was not science. But an old, good student failing miserably was new. I was going to be held back in science. My teachers were firm that they would only give me humanities. They knew very well what I excelled at.
Everything was falling apart, those days were disastrous at home. Dad was a little disappointed, but also hell-bent on making sure that I took humanities now. That was the only silver lining, though it ignited a lot of angry debating. My mom was more interested in making me drop out rather than take humanities.
But hey, I survived. I may have wasted one year of my life. But at least not the rest of my life. I hope that if you are reading this, you won’t allow even that one year to go to waste in your life.
Featured image for representation only. Credit: Manoj Dhaka / Hindustan Times via Getty Images.