Dear Moral Policeman,
Before I start with so many other things that I want to say, I wish to thank you. Thanks a ton for worrying about us, our culture and our morals. My heart swells in pride to see your selflessness. I can’t name too many Indians who would care so much to help us this way, knowing it’d land them in jail. We are very grateful to you and the least we could do is to return your favour (No we’re not brave enough to go to jail), its just some friendly return advice. Gratitude, you see. That’s virtue number two that we were taught. Poor we, the Indian youth, very few morals we have, so might as well show them off every chance we get.
So what’s virtue number one, you may ask.
Friend, the first virtue we were all taught as kids is called ‘tolerance’. You missed that lesson, eh? It’s alright. It’s not your fault, you were taught too much about the “Indian culture” to remember such silly things. Let me explain. Have you read “Live and let live” anywhere? It’s in one of those books you borrowed from the ashram that has Gandhi’s picture right on the outside. I know it adorns that bamboo table in the corner of your simple house. Your neighbour thinks you’re some big overly intelligent guy reading history and philosophy and all, yet a simple guy wearing dhoti. Ideal Indian, friend! We’re proud of you. When TLC comes to your village, take them to your house and talk about Gandhi. Pakka it will be!
Friend, let me warn you, the world has changed. You have been the sole “bearer, follower, preacher” of our culture. But it’s no more that easy. It is a competitive world today.
– Orange clothes don’t cost too much these days. Also, you might want to change the colour, orange clad people are associated with sexual harassment cases now.
– You get Gandhi and even Vivekananda books for free in some shops, I hear.
– Everyone loves to run on the roads yelling things. Even we did that in college.
You’ve waited all these years, the time has come to actually open and read those books.
‘Culture’ is deeper than you think. ‘Moral’ is a word that’s even deeper than that. Understanding of either of these two words is impossible if you don’t get the meaning of tolerance. Tolerance is what holds this world together. It is what keeps India, a secular country together. The wars are because of people like you, who are too intolerant to embrace this virtue that the rest of the world preaches.
Friend, you live your life, while we live ours. If you think sitting in your front yard gossiping about how short your neighbour’s daughter’s skirt is, is fun, we pity you. But we aren’t going to send our dog to bite you. It’s the same way friend. If we think partying is fun, mind your business. Gossip about us, if it gives you so much pleasure. But sending people to hit us? Violence is bad, did no one tell you? And you were so audacious that you publicized this to the whole world, by stupidly getting a shameless cameraman to accompany you. Poor fellow, his TV channel must’ve desperately needed this to help its falling TRPs.
Did you forget that Gandhi’s favourite word was ‘non-violence’? Or wait, you didn’t even know! You don’t know non-violence or tolerance; and you are the moral police? LOL. Your existence is affecting our tolerance levels.
Friend, go get a life!
With love and gratitude,
The Indian youth
P.S. This is some friendly advice, friend. Take it. You don’t want all of us taking you down, trust me.